Thursday, February 02, 2006

Disco Show

It happened. The dictatorial regime of blood-thirsty tyrant Putin the Terrible forced its enslaved and obedient media to commit an act of atrocious anti-Americanism. It showed an uncensored version of Bush’s State of the Union address.

What can I say? I couldn’t stop laughing for almost ten minutes. This show reminded me of an old Soviet-times joke. Chapaev’s sidekick Petka says, “Hey, Vasil Ivanovish. We had a great disco party yesterday. I was a dj.” – “Don’t give me s*** I know you have only one LP – Brezhnev’s speech at the 24th Congress of the Communist Party.” – “Yeah. I played it 5 times faster and it went – blah, blah, blah – clap, clap, clap - blah, blah, blah – clap, clap, clap.”
Twenty five years ago at school we were obliged to watch Brezhnev’s speeches. There are incredibly boring. A very old man speaks very slowly “The people of the USSR are proud to say that we are not dependent …” A huge congress hall full of old people slowly applauds.

In comparisons with Americans Soviets look lame. Very lame. I wonder what Bush did to make his fans have such ecstatically orgasmic eyes? Did they get free cocaine before the show? Condi surprised me. She was the star of the show, jumping up, clapping like mad, eating Comrade Bush with her eyes. I was almost sure – one more “blah, blah, blah” and she salutes with her right hand and shouts, “Heil, Bush!”.

Did anyone get it – what did George Bush actually say?

6 comments:

Nimo said...

Hi Konstantin!

I really like your blog! I like your views on Russian politics and your great sense of humor! I even dare to say that I do agree with most of your views and analysis. I really do think that your blog is a unique one among all the Russian blogs!
I'm a foreigner learning Russian language. I live in Saint Petersburg. I’m doing well learning Russian; it's still easier for me to express myself in English, though. I liked your post “General Frost” so much, as much as I liked "Disco Show" - It's so true and very well-written. I have found a good article as well that I thought you should have a look at, in case you haven’t seen it yet!
http://english.pravda.ru/opinion/columnists/01-02-2006/75033-bush-0

For those who criticized Mr. Putin's speech, please have a look at that article. Have you heard of “Bushism”??? Interested in some examples?

"I think we are welcomed. But it was not a peaceful welcome." —George W. Bush, defending Vice President Dick Cheney's pre-war assertion that the United States would be welcomed in Iraq as liberators, NBC Nightly News interview, Dec. 12, 2005

"Wow! Brazil is big." —George W. Bush, after being shown a map of Brazil by Brazilian president Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, Brasilia, Brazil, Nov. 6, 2005

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.'' —Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001

"I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves." —Washington, D.C., Sept. 21, 2003

"I'm the commander — see, I don't need to explain — I do not need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being president." —as quoted in Bob Woodward's Bush at War

And my favorite one:

"For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it." —Philadelphia, Penn., May 14, 2001

The list goes on and on endlessly! What Konstantin wrote was so right: Such speeches should be shown or published censored, just out of respect for people’s IQ!
So what a silly, cold-war mentality thing to do when jumping into conclusions about the timing of Mr. Putin’s speech, just because it was given at the same day as Bush’s speech!!!

What a difference between the two speeches! Mr. Putin, simply, looks like, behaves like, and speaks like a president! My Russian is already good enough to understand almost every single word in Mr. Putin’s speech; he was strong, decisive, creative, and most importantly SMART in all of his answers and comments! The comparison between the two speeches really outraged me, although I am not Russian and I have no anti- American feelings. I have anti Bush feelings when ever I see him speaking on TV!
I thank you Mr. Putin for your speech because it helped me to handle the aftermath of Bush’s speech! Thank you Mr. Putin for that interesting 3-hour press conference that wasn’t boring or senseless for a single second! Please read the Pravda.Ru article I gave the link to; it has a very good comparison!

Konstantin got it right:

“Condi surprised me. She was the star of the show, jumping up, clapping like mad, eating Comrade Bush with her eyes. I was almost sure – one more “blah, blah, blah” and she salutes with her right hand and shouts, “Heil, Bush!”.

Did anyone get it – what did George Bush actually say?”

This is one of the funniest comments I have ever heard about “Bushism”!
Thank you Konstantin – thank you a lot!

Tim Newman said...

What a difference between the two speeches!

Whereas grandstand speeches have always gone down well in Russia, most people in the west long ago stopped judging their leaders on their ability to make a good speech. No matter how good our leaders' oratory skills, we rarely get the public fawning over their speeches. We prefer to judge them by results.

Nimo said...

“No matter how good our leaders' oratory skills, we rarely get the public fawning over their speeches. We prefer to judge them by results.”

I understand what your point is, but do you really believe that this is what’s happening in reality? That it doesn’t matter how a president presents himself to the public and what language and expressions he uses to reach them?
We are talking about a president here, so I do believe it’s very important how this or that president talks in public and what abilities he has to confront a huge crowd of curious, “ruthless” journalist!
How could you not judge if you see any president being unconfident or hesitative in his answers or speech? It’s the man representing the country!
If you want to judge by results, then Putin will get as much credits as no one else because of what he’s done for Russia so far!
I do think it should mean a lot to the American public when they hear:
"I think we are welcomed. But it was not a peaceful welcome." —George W. Bush, defending Vice President Dick Cheney's pre-war assertion that the United States would be welcomed in Iraq as liberators, NBC Nightly News interview, Dec. 12, 2005”
If they don’t want to judge by the speech, as you suggested, they would judge by the results, right? Then, that will be more painful in my opinion!

Anyway, thank you for commenting, unless we have different opinions; we’d never discuss anything:)

Tim Newman said...

That it doesn’t matter how a president presents himself to the public and what language and expressions he uses to reach them?

Firstly, it is a very bad idea to judge somebody's intelligence or abilites on the way he speaks. If I applied this principle to my industry, I'd be out on my arse within a month (not to mention being branded an awful snob). Virtually nobody from deep Texas is going to speak as well as someone from St. Petersburg, just as nobody from rural South Wales is going to speak as well as somebody from Kensington. Thankfully, in the west we don't judge people this way so much any more.

Secondly, most of the "Bushisms" I've seen to date are either not attributable to him, mis-quoted, or seem to make reasonable sense to me. Attack Bush by all means, but if you're resorting to how he speaks to promote him over Putin, then you must be desperate.

Tim Newman said...

...so I do believe it’s very important how this or that president talks in public and what abilities he has to confront a huge crowd of curious, “ruthless” journalist!

Well, I watch RTR Vestii every night, and I've yet to see a journalist ask Putin anything difficult. Indeed, with the state of the Russian press, I'd be amazed if any journalist even got the chance to ask Putin a tough question. But a useful comparison would be to look at the Bush reaction to a national crisis: 9/11, and Hurricane Katerina; and Putin's: Kursk sinking and Beslan siege. Woefully bad though Bush's speeches were on those occasions, at least he bothered to show up and confront the press and public. Putin was nowhere to be found, which tends to suggest that he is utterly hopeless at giving speeches when it really matters.

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