Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Salty Panic

Russia section of Times is becoming my humor column of choice. Jeremy Page – probably, the most professional Russia watcher in that newspaper – explains why Russians are driven into a panic over salt.

Energy war drives Russians into a panic over their salt
Shoppers emptied shelves after rumours that Ukraine might have taste for revenge over gas supplies
A shortage of salt would be disturbing for Russians as it is traditionally offered with bread in wedding and welcome ceremonies, and is commonly used for preserving cucumbers and other vegetables.

He only forgot to mention that Russians have a wachy tradition of eating a big (16 kilos) sack of salt (съесть пуд соли) when they want to build real friendship with someone.

Jeremy, do you think my two tons stock of salt would be enough for all wedding and welcome ceremonies I plan for the next month?


Tim Newman said...

I'm trying to calculate how much salt I've eaten on pickled cucumbers when making friends with Russians, or to put it another way, getting completely drunk with Russians. 16kg is probably about right.

Nimo said...

Holy Salt!!!!!
This sounds more like an Onion article than a Time one! I’m sure Jeremy could have made a career as a columnist on the Onion; had his homur been not that bad-tasted.
Oh, yeah, time to start stocking up on salt – maybe I’m too late, should I try the black market?
Luck you, Konstantin, you already have two tons of salt:)

Ted said...

When I got married to a local girl while in the Peace Corps in Kazakhstan, they made me pour salt on bread. Me being foolish as people told me that the amount of salt poured showed how much I loved my bride, poured waaaaaay too much. I drank a whole lot of sarongash afterwards...

Come by my place for a visit.

Nimo said...

Have a look at this der Spiegel article about Russia's foreign policy. I guess it's a good read!http://service.spiegel.de/cache/international/0,1518,401078,00.html

Tim Newman said...

Coming to think of it, The Times used to have a very highly regarded Russia correspondent called Andrew Meier, who wrote a book or two on Russia. Standards have obviously slipped.

Anonymous said...

mmm salty...wow i just had an orgasm from the image of a salty man rubbing my chest hair. Im lookin for a russian porn star who can give it to me straight and has salty sweat dripping from his...well you know what..HOLLA..fools!

Anonymous said...

oopsies my bad yo i got the wrong blog...excuse me i just farted...oh and by the way it was salty!...fools


Kirsikka said...

He forgot to mention the mushrooms.

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