Monday, September 19, 2005

How to drink vodka and stay sober

Russians are renowned for drinking a lot of vodka staying sober. That’s not something to do with biological inheritance but with the way we drink. Russians believe that foreigners don’t know how to drink. They don’t eat while drinking. They mix cocktails. They sip vodka instead of taking shots. They drink vodka with highly carbonated sodas. In short, they do everything to get drunk from the minimum amount of alcohol. May be it has something to do with innate Western avidity or expensiveness of alcohol.
Russians, on the other hand, do everything to stay sober while drinking as much alcohol as possible. How do we do it? We try to neutralize alcohol as long as possible. I try to outline the basic principles of vodka drinking for uninitiated.

One hour before the party.

1. Eat a couple of boiled potatoes.
2. Drinks one or two raw eggs.
3. Drink one or two table-spoons of olive oil. Sunflower oil will also do.
Thus it’s guaranteed that at the Russian party you will stay sober for at least one bottle of vodka. I’m not kidding. Raw eggs are the most important part of Russian pre-party preparations.

At the party.

1. If you start drinking vodka – drink only vodka. No beer or wine. No water or juice. Carbonated drinks are taboo.
2. Drink vodka only in shots. Never sip.
3. Eat immediately after taking a shot. Russian zakuskis are often translated as appetizers. That’s not quite correct. Zakuskis are something you ‘zakusyvayesh’ with after taking a shot of vodka. They are very important to neutralize alcohol. That’s why they all contain two most important alcohol neutralizers – acid and salt. I recommend taking the following sequence:
- immediately after taking a shot – two slices of lemon;
- then some salted cucumbers, pickles, marinated tomatoes or caviar.
- then something with a lot of oil: herring (traditionally with cold boiled potatoes and onion), sardines, or shproty (small smoked sprats in olive oil);
- then traditional Russian salads, like Oliviye or Herring with boiled beet and mayonnaise. Almost all Russian salads come under heavy mayonnaise dressing. Remember – acid, salt, eggs and oil. Ukrainians and Southern Russians prefer smoked lard with garlic but it’s a zakuska for professionals.

4. Only three first vodka shots at a Russian party are ‘obligatory’ so to say. That means you have to take them if you want to show you’re a friendly person but not an unsociable person. After that you can ‘miss’ one or two shots. Just say, “Ya propuskayu” (Literally, I make it slip) and cover your glass with your palm. That doesn’t mean you can abstain from drinking till the end of the party. It means (excusing yourself that you’re a foreigner) can take one shot out of two your Russian guests take.

I think, some Russian party traditions need to be explained here. In Russia we party around a big table with bottles and zakuskis. We drink only when someone makes a toast and we drink all together. The person who makes a toast usually pours vodka to all glasses. Taking a bottle yourself and drinking vodka without others is a faux pas. Actually you (and all others) are ordered to drink after a toast. Everyone at the party is supposed to make a toast – being a foreigner is not an excuse. So be prepared – buy yourself a book on party toasts (there are a lot of them on sale in Russia) and learn some by heart.

5. Zakuskis part of the party take about an hour – or something like 200 grams (4 shots) of vodka. Then comes “goryacheye” (hot dishes). Even though zakuskis could be very filling – you should eat goryacheye if you want not be become drunk.
6. Actively participate in intellectual talks around the table. Mental activity is probably the best method to keep you excited but sober. Try, for example, to drink two pints of beer while reading a philosophical book and see the result.
7. At the end of the party come tea and cakes. Don’t miss it too. This way you show your hosts that you’re survived the party without dire consequences.

Now in the course of 4 or 5 hours you drunk a bottle of vodka (500 grams) and you’re only slightly tight.

After the party.

1. Keep a small bottle of beer in refrigerator. Wake up at about 5 in the morning, drink your beer and go back to bed. It prevents hang-over in the morning.
2. If the early morning beer didn’t help (it usually does), drink a glass of brine from the jar you kept you pickles in.
Many Russians recommend taking a shot of vodka in the morning to fights hang-over. Don’t do it. It helps only alcoholics. If you’re not, it will make things worse.

More on the subject of vodka drinking in Russian Marketing Blog.

322 comments:

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I am glad to see this post. Russians seem alright and I want to usher in the new year with plans for a trip to Tolstoy-land. How would I do such a thing without mucking about on a "guided tour"? Where should I start planning my trip? Where should I go to encounter Russians who are willing to go toe to toe with a poet from the southeastern US in a drinking bout? I was raised on moonshine so let's get something started here. Anyway, you'll never post in this thread again so it really doesn't matter but goddammit raise some hell and toast me when you drink your next shot. Yours, Man Mountain

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Very interesting to read about the Russian parties. I normally used breads, salts and oranges to counteract the alcohol. Then again I'm Romanian ;)

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software said...

the best way to drink vodka is chilled & straight out of the bottle. NEVER DRINK WARM VODKA! fuck the lemons and raw eggs. last time i checked people drink TO GET DRUNK. who cares how many shots it takes? it all depends on body weight. ive never seen a russian that wasnt 9 foot 15 and 300 pounds.

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Anonymous said...

As a Russian, I must say that the info is quite correct.
Drink responsibly. Eat after each drink, because, you know, zakuski means 'those eaten after'. After a shot.
You drink, you eat, you drink, you eat.
Drinking vodka raw gives you a decent hangover, but not on a scale, say, as with drinking gin or brandy or whisky. These drinks are distillation products, not rectificates, and as such, they have much more aldehydes and ethers (the things responsible for your hangover in the first place).

bb said...

Dont know what Westerners youve been drinking with....come to Tennessee.

Anonymous said...

You don't need to do all that egg eating crap to drink vodka and not get drunk. I do it every day. I will rifle through a liter a night, and still not get wasted, although the next day i have problems. So find something to do while ur drinking, and take periodic shots of vodka straight and drink a sip of water after each shot. Don't guzzle the whole bottle in an hour. A shot every 6 minutes is sufficient. That's all i have to say.

Anonymous said...

Your an idiot...

Anonymous said...

Who ever wrote this post never went to a real Russian party.

If your not waisted at a Russian party then your probably snorting alot of blow. Truth is Russians down about 1500 ml in a night. Also congac is on the table. Eating helps to keep you upright for only so long.

Keep trying buddy but if you want to party with Russians you might have a better time at the kiddy table.

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