Monday, September 19, 2005

How to drink vodka and stay sober

Russians are renowned for drinking a lot of vodka staying sober. That’s not something to do with biological inheritance but with the way we drink. Russians believe that foreigners don’t know how to drink. They don’t eat while drinking. They mix cocktails. They sip vodka instead of taking shots. They drink vodka with highly carbonated sodas. In short, they do everything to get drunk from the minimum amount of alcohol. May be it has something to do with innate Western avidity or expensiveness of alcohol.
Russians, on the other hand, do everything to stay sober while drinking as much alcohol as possible. How do we do it? We try to neutralize alcohol as long as possible. I try to outline the basic principles of vodka drinking for uninitiated.

One hour before the party.

1. Eat a couple of boiled potatoes.
2. Drinks one or two raw eggs.
3. Drink one or two table-spoons of olive oil. Sunflower oil will also do.
Thus it’s guaranteed that at the Russian party you will stay sober for at least one bottle of vodka. I’m not kidding. Raw eggs are the most important part of Russian pre-party preparations.

At the party.

1. If you start drinking vodka – drink only vodka. No beer or wine. No water or juice. Carbonated drinks are taboo.
2. Drink vodka only in shots. Never sip.
3. Eat immediately after taking a shot. Russian zakuskis are often translated as appetizers. That’s not quite correct. Zakuskis are something you ‘zakusyvayesh’ with after taking a shot of vodka. They are very important to neutralize alcohol. That’s why they all contain two most important alcohol neutralizers – acid and salt. I recommend taking the following sequence:
- immediately after taking a shot – two slices of lemon;
- then some salted cucumbers, pickles, marinated tomatoes or caviar.
- then something with a lot of oil: herring (traditionally with cold boiled potatoes and onion), sardines, or shproty (small smoked sprats in olive oil);
- then traditional Russian salads, like Oliviye or Herring with boiled beet and mayonnaise. Almost all Russian salads come under heavy mayonnaise dressing. Remember – acid, salt, eggs and oil. Ukrainians and Southern Russians prefer smoked lard with garlic but it’s a zakuska for professionals.

4. Only three first vodka shots at a Russian party are ‘obligatory’ so to say. That means you have to take them if you want to show you’re a friendly person but not an unsociable person. After that you can ‘miss’ one or two shots. Just say, “Ya propuskayu” (Literally, I make it slip) and cover your glass with your palm. That doesn’t mean you can abstain from drinking till the end of the party. It means (excusing yourself that you’re a foreigner) can take one shot out of two your Russian guests take.

I think, some Russian party traditions need to be explained here. In Russia we party around a big table with bottles and zakuskis. We drink only when someone makes a toast and we drink all together. The person who makes a toast usually pours vodka to all glasses. Taking a bottle yourself and drinking vodka without others is a faux pas. Actually you (and all others) are ordered to drink after a toast. Everyone at the party is supposed to make a toast – being a foreigner is not an excuse. So be prepared – buy yourself a book on party toasts (there are a lot of them on sale in Russia) and learn some by heart.

5. Zakuskis part of the party take about an hour – or something like 200 grams (4 shots) of vodka. Then comes “goryacheye” (hot dishes). Even though zakuskis could be very filling – you should eat goryacheye if you want not be become drunk.
6. Actively participate in intellectual talks around the table. Mental activity is probably the best method to keep you excited but sober. Try, for example, to drink two pints of beer while reading a philosophical book and see the result.
7. At the end of the party come tea and cakes. Don’t miss it too. This way you show your hosts that you’re survived the party without dire consequences.

Now in the course of 4 or 5 hours you drunk a bottle of vodka (500 grams) and you’re only slightly tight.

After the party.

1. Keep a small bottle of beer in refrigerator. Wake up at about 5 in the morning, drink your beer and go back to bed. It prevents hang-over in the morning.
2. If the early morning beer didn’t help (it usually does), drink a glass of brine from the jar you kept you pickles in.
Many Russians recommend taking a shot of vodka in the morning to fights hang-over. Don’t do it. It helps only alcoholics. If you’re not, it will make things worse.

More on the subject of vodka drinking in Russian Marketing Blog.

318 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Very interesting and informative! I plan on traveling to Russia soon and all of this is very good to know, I do not want to seem overly American. I'd like to read more articles on Russian tradition and social habits in the future.

Anonymous said...

Foreigners normally start with a bucket (of vodka), and finish with a glass! Whilst, Russian's chose a much wiser route to oblivion...

Galka Derebasov said...

Dear sir,
It seems the advice you give is for civilized, cordial drinking, for quaint getogethers that usually dissipate by midnight and at which everyone has pleasant time. I suppose it's useful for individuals who go in for that sort of fare. Then again those are an awful lot of regulations just to be able to drink half a liter in, say, what, six hours? All one really needs for that is a couple of good-sized apples and some cigarettes. And what is the point of drinking to not get drunk in the first place? I'm not questioning your advice, you understand, just its purpose. Russians do all that to get drunk, and stay drunk for long periods of time. NOT to stay sober. So my advie to your readers is do what you say but also to GET drunk, to not be afraid, and act like a fool if you must, and maybe you'll go insane, throw up, rip a shirt, lose a shoe, get layed, or all or none of the above, but whatever happens you can say afterward: "Yes, I drank like a real Russian."

Anonymous said...

My father swears by a different method.

Eat a stick of butter during taking shots. After every shot, take a bite. The fat in the butter will inhibit the alcohol from dissolving. This method provably works.

Maybe it has to do with being from Tashkent? =)


Mike.

Anonymous said...

This is such great news!
I bet this poor bastard didn't eat the raw egg:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/3284487.stm

Anonymous said...

zakushki is the key i do believe. also when you're in russia, the food seems to be richer than here in the states. they cook things with that "butter" stuff that america has decided is bad for you.

way back in high school, senior trip to Volgagrad... one memorable nighti managed 1.5 litres of vodka(forget the brand, sold on the streets,peel off cap, wheat sheaves on the lable), a small flask of scotch and some random champange myself. quite probably the most i have drank in one night. russia isn't a bad place to have your first drink.

Anonymous said...

Wouldn't not drinking any water, as you've suggested, facilitate dehydration and massive hangover? Or is that somehow only true if you don't eat?

Anonymous said...

That's a lot of preparation for, as someone said, 500mL of vodka in six hours. If you're decently sized and have any experience in drinking you should be able to get through this kind of an evening without getting too sloshed, and vodka itself has very few of the toxins that result in hangovers (aside from the dehydration factor). Just eat some apples as another guy said and you should be golden.

Anonymous said...

This reminds me of grandma's parties.

Anonymous said...

But then how do you manage to pop your enormous fat arse out of the chair?

Anonymous said...

penis

Anonymous said...

I feel the best way to get drunk is to drink via the anus. Plus it nuetralizes those nasty rectal worts of mine.

Anonymous said...

masturbating in your own mouth is a good way to prevent hangovers

Anonymous said...

Stupid commies....

Anonymous said...

Dude. Your nuts. Do this crap and you'll end up with alcohol poisoning getting your stomach pumped by some fat ass nurse in a moscow emergency room. Oh yeah.. Fark!!!

Anonymous said...

O RLY?

Anonymous said...

YA RLY!

Anonymous said...

YA RLY!!!

Anonymous said...

No Wai!!!!

Anonymous said...

Prevent alchohol from dissolving? Alchohol is already a liquid, and is very misible in water, so your explination for the butter advice is misled.

Anonymous said...

Just have some kind of lipid substance... oil, fat, whatever. Why do you think it's impossible to get drunk off of Bailey's?

Anonymous said...

Shows you just how dim the Russians are when it comes to stretching that hard earned ruble.

Anonymous said...

penis gourd.

Anonymous said...

dumb farkers...

screwed a nice discussion

Anonymous said...

1.Party till ya puke, (litterally)
(dont let the bad things to come spoil the happy braindamaging)
2.Puke twise and drink 2 large glases of room tempered water before u pass out.
3. Att 4.30 pee break, Puke again and drink water or rosehipsoup (not to coold).
4.when your mother calls att 10.30-11.30 eat an breakfast that dont eat you. (just an egg some bread or so and a gallon of coffein loaded coffee. (Real coffee that is).
5.watch a dvd and try to remember where you where last night.

Anonymous said...

Well, i can only say that this still has some biological inheritance but the we we, russians, drink helps a great deal, it's actually the main way to stay sober. Still, we wouldnt be able to drink that much if not the biological inheritance as well.. ;) So it's actually both. Therefore even if others will start drinking "our" way-they will still not drink as much as wwe can ;)

Anonymous said...

You sir are an idiot.

Anonymous said...

I have never read so much rubbish in all my life!

You can only avoid getting drunk for so long... Regardless of what you choose to line your stomach with before or during a heavy drinking session. The human body will eventually have to process the alcohol in your system. The idea that you can neutralize the alcohol once consumed is simply ridiculous. You are just prolonging your sobriety not avoiding it.

It seems all he is doing is putting off getting drunk till he gets into bed, WHOOP DEE DOO!!! Thus increasing the chance of choking on your own vomit in your sleep. Lovely.

Carbonated drinks should always be avoided as the little bubbles deliver the alcohol to your bloodstream faster.

Really this whole methodology is just plain Russian bullshit.

Anonymous said...

this is stupid. If I drink vodka, I am TRYING to get drunk!

Anonymous said...

First of all you eat "fatty" substances an hour before in order to coat your stomach, so that the alcohol does not absorb that fast. My father would outdrink many people (trying to get him drunk) by drinking a glass of raw eggs while eating a sliec of bread buttered very heavily (the is, more butter than bread). Although we definitely drank water in order to keep hydrated.

Anonymous said...

Not 1 of you cocksuckers know anything about gettin piss drunk.

Anonymous said...

I went to a Russian friends of mines house a couple years ago and we drank vodka like it was going out of style. Niether of us would admit to it at the time, but it was a competition and I thought he won till the next morning when he came to me and said, " All your scotch drinking has paid off, because you drink more then me last night. One shot more!" I had no idea, I just thought I was going to die that night when I thew-up. the food they had at that party was good and we ate the whole time, but that may have been why I drank so much... He did not fare so much taking shots, but then again i am not as good a cook as he.

Anonymous said...

If you want to get drunk fast - mix Vodka with Champagne and drink up :) Raw eggs and some potatoes sure help if you get gentle stomach. But at a good Russian party - you drink to get drunk. Zakuska is just to keep it inside. And yes biological inheritance plays the role more then eggs and zakuska, so is drinking vodka since 16. And talking more about tradition - some Russian families still practice 1shot of vodka before dinner every day.

Anonymous said...

for all those above talking about 500ml - spirits are also sold in 1000ml bottles. i have 1 litre bottle of gordons gin downstairs that i bought in a supermarket. could've been vodka, but my wife prefers gin.

Anonymous said...

Um, this is very informative, but why wouldn't you want to get drunk? I don't see the point of simply drinking and not getting the fun out of it :)

Anonymous said...

shchis-LEE-vah-vah razhdee-STVAH!

Anonymous said...

ZA VAS!

I love Vodka...

Anonymous said...

Raw eggs, shots of olive oil, sticks of butter - are you trying to drink or get the shits? Good grief - just give me a case Bud and a bucket of KFC...

-Red in Bama

Anonymous said...

Whoever wrote this is a completely exegerating the eating part with raw eggs and lemon slices. Do that if you want to look like a dumbass. Not even Russians do that because no one will waste money for freaken melon. I know because I grew up there. Now, of course have some zakuska while drinking, it will help. But definately not lemons

Anonymous said...

Pizdets..poshel pit vodku

Anonymous said...

a couple litres

Anonymous said...

You Russians have no idea. For one thing a Pole could beat you at drinking anyday, and for another we have far superior vodka in the first place!

Good advice except for the 'they sip vodka instead of taking shots' comment - there is nothing wrong with sipping vodka, particularly when accompanied by some kind of mix (
Sok malinowy especially!). It's a very nice way of drinking it.

Anonymous said...

This is all sorta informative, but what's the point?! What's next? How to Smoke Weed w/o Getting High? LOL! If you wanna drink a clear liquid and not get drunk, drink WATER.

Anonymous said...

Half a litre in six hours? That'll make you look like a faggot. At least double the amount if you're drinking with someone from eastern-europe.

Anonymous said...

Read carefully "One hour before the party". It definitely sucks. As Ukrainians how to drink "horilka" (e.g. vodka in Russian).

Anonymous said...

a good fatty meal befor you go to the party helps, but what helps more is practise...

Anonymous said...

practice helps you become an alcoholic as well.
Fat food, acid, whatever doesn't prevent you from becoming drunk AT ALL. It just DELAYS things a bit because the alcohol doesnt access the blood stream (ergo liver...) as fast. The amount of alcohol that has to be processed by the liver stays the same, whatever you drink or eat before, in between or after the shots.
Hangover is dehydratation so drink water, lots of it, before/during/after! An maybe an aspirine before going to sleep and in the 'morning-after'.

Anonymous said...

as to why you would want to know how to drink without getting drunk...

in some cultures, heavy drinking is a big part of social/business deals.

There are times you really don't want to get drunk but have to drink heavily in order to get that deal closed, or to make new friends.

the pressures are different. and in such an environment, tips on how to drink without getting drunk becomes very useful.

Anonymous said...

Just to clarify a bit: most of the advices, as someone already mentioned, aren't valid. Just the author's personal preferences and experiences. How do I know? I am a Russian.

Anonymous said...

A reason to drink vodka and not get drunk?

How's this for a reason.

The last few times I have drunk vodka, I have woken up missing hair, face down in the dirt in the woods to the sound of gunshots not knowing where I am, woken up with staples in my body, thrown up seven times, passed out, woken up thrown up again, spent an entire afternoon in public making an ass of myself then having sex with a girl I swore I would never talk to again, only to wake up next to a different girl and not remembering the first until withstanding a barrage of desperate phonecalls at 8AM the next morning, each ring tightening the imaginary vise that was on my head and making me wish even more that I was dead.

Vodka is like a sneak attack to my system, people will hand me a mixed drink and a 50/50 mix will taste 'somewhat spiked' to me. I can guzzle half a liter of vodka mixed with coke in less than ten minutes without realizing I had more than 3 or 4 ounces worth, then I wake up the next day as an internet celbrity and I'm the last to find out.

What I woudn't give to be able to drink vodka without getting drunk. It would make my life better.

Anonymous said...

good story, too bad having sex with girls was the made up part. you love butts

Anonymous said...

Shot, water, shot, water. No lemon needed or salt needed. You won't have a hangover and last quite a bit of time because you'll pace yourself well with this. If you're not drunk enough...shot, shot, water,etc.

This Russian routine...too many rules and who's gonna remember crap when you're drunk? As someone mentioned, why take the fun out of drinking?

why do i know? i'm irish.

god created whiskey so the irish wouldn't rule the world.

Anonymous said...

thats why you get anally intruded & have no traditions my mick friend. shot, anal, water, anal, anal, shot

Anonymous said...

When I was 16 I drank a 500 ml mixed with 12 ounces of sour soda in 20 minutes. It was the cheapest hardest drunk I've ever had. I followed up the vodka with a beer, some sawdust I thought was popcorn, and a healthy puke. I was Russian for a day!!

Anonymous said...

Alcohol kills. Don't drink, live long.

Anonymous said...

HOW TO F**K fat chicks...drink like a pansy ass Ruskie!!!

Anonymous said...

Alright bros, just drink your couple bottles of water while and after yur ass is drinking. then you wont have a hangover and won't need to do something incredibly nasty like eating a stick of butter or a raw egg. fucking gross, just drink water.

Anonymous said...

dolboeby

Anonymous said...

i'm eating buttered eggs and drinking myself under the table right nfow =)

Anonymous said...

Niggers!

Anonymous said...

Ya hahchoo tvaya peezdoo.

Anonymous said...

Тупые янки, вам никогда не перепить великую нацию.
Хуячте свой ссаный виски, а водку оставьте для нас!

Anonymous said...

There isn't any biological difference between the russian drinker and me (an american). It's simply cultural. If my tolerence is built up I can drink a lot for my size (I'm female and about 115-120lbs). I have been able to drink men twice my size under the table. Drinking tomato juice the morning after tends to help with the hang-over.

Anonymous said...

fatty.

Anonymous said...

Just can not understand why author insists to avoid drinking water or juice? There is a tradition to "zapivat" (drink a Cola/juice after a shot of vodka) instead of eatting after a shot. This way does not guarantee you will not be drunk but you will be able to drink vodka when zakuskis are not available (4 example, on a street). Be aware some russians have a juice immediatly after a shot and only then they have some hot food or cold food (zakuska).

Anonymous said...

surely this is the worst site i have ever seen

Anonymous said...

I aint Russian to try this..ha ha..erm..goodbye

Anonymous said...

Drink alot and stay sober? This is what u do:
1)Take one or two shots of vodka every 6 hours.
2)After one week make it every 4 hours. Two weeks 2 hours and so on.
3)Do this for a month and then start drinkin socially. U'll easily beat the above method

Mark G said...

Everyone already knows food, particularly of the salty variety, absorbs alcohol. I'm not sure there's any logic behind recommending specific types of Russian foods. We generally have the same types of foods in America.

Of course, none of this makes any sense if you want to drunk.

Anonymous said...

If you wanna drink and stay somewhat sober (e.g. at your own marriage), eat bananas beforehand.

I've tried it several times, and it works fine.

Anonymous said...

gt a glens u dellas an gt to saints

Anonymous said...

I am 19 and have drunk a bottle (750ml) of grey goose and other drinks, got shit faced and did not have a hang over the next morning in fact i felt great. I believe that lots of sleep is a good remedy for a hang over.

Anonymous said...

People hear me out!
the only way to drink and have a good long buzz (forget about staying sober!!) is while you are taking your shots and you feel the need to puke....just grab a bottle of Jim Beam and down it like there is no tomorrow, once you start feeling better get right back on that vodka wagon and take more straight shots. Throw lemons and stick butter out the window, you dont need that shit.

Anonymous said...

strong drink is raging and
a fool and his money are soon parted.
too much alcohol can cause the wet form of beri-beri, and the type of protein in raw egg together with vitamin b-1 can keep you on feet with the type of nerves where you can stil; walkk to the next parrty, until you go on the water wagon. even too much water is bad for you if you drown in it...

Anonymous said...

so the man who said do not get drunk with wine in which you can get too much, but be filled with the spirit you can never get too much of, was not talking about alcohol spirits?

Anonymous said...

wtf, i drink to get fucked up. Go drink a coke if you dont wanna get drunk, moron.

Anonymous said...

oh yeah this reminds me of good times in Russia. Man, I miss those days...

Anonymous said...

funny, but a lot of not working hints

Anonymous said...

Russians dont have any inherited trait that makes them more tolerant of excessive drinking. I come from a smallcity which was historically composed of Russian, Irish, and Italian immigrants. The Russians all die of Cirrhosis or some pacreas disorder by 50, the Mc's dont die until 60. Forget the Italians.

Also, as far as Russian Vodka being cheaper, Damn Straight! Us moronic Americans are willing to pay 10 dollars for a cheap bottle of vodka that actually only cost 2 dollars to make. Worse yet, Vodka is the easiest spirit to make. Thats why its illegal to use a still for your own consumption, but you guys are all morons when it comes to giveing your money away freely.

Anonymous said...

Eat a stick of butter and raw eggs to prevent a hang over. Christ! I'd rather taste my own puke than eat raw eggs or an entire stick of butter. Grow some hair you F-ing Nancy-boys!

Anonymous said...

why drink to stay sober??
i party to get crunked... which means shot after shot after shot..followed by energy drink chasers and other fun substances.
moderation is boring, and for the sad,designated people

Anonymous said...

im hispanic so i like tequilla better,why do i want to stay sober why i drink, thats boring , being sober takes the fun out of it

Anonymous said...

Im from Mississippi & we drink cases of beer & half gallons of Jim Beam & Jack Daniels at a time,been known to drink vodka too,nothing like moonshine around here though.
The next day,when youre hungover & you will be 65% of the time,nothing is better for a hangover than Buttermilk,try it you will see.
We can drink anybody under the table,Ive drank enough to float a battleship.
Good luck & Good Drunk

Anonymous said...

oh shit, i can't find the salt nor the eggs.

Anonymous said...

Well, those of us over the age of 25 know that drinking isn't like it was when teenagers. To the know-it-all teens out there that can drink to sloppy, ignorance, we too did it and one morning in your not so distant future you will wakeup in the morning with a strange feeling from your head down to your toes. This my friend is reality and will get worse as time flies by. So safely enjoy your weak moments and those bright mornings because father time is one step behind you.

This brings me to biology 101. Alcohol, no matter what type it is, in excess depletes your body of vitamins and dehydrates your cells. Thus creating the hangover. So, drink a glass of water and take a muti-vitamin BEFORE bed and pass on a heavy fatty breakfast. For breakfast, drink a full glass of water then have a smoothie or eat fruits. The object here is to put back in what you pissed rivers out the night before.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the former respondant. And I am "anonymous" for a reason (hint). Anyone who takes the stupid advice that attracted my attention to this blog deserves the inevitable consequenses.

Drunks are an arrogant breed who mistakenly think that the ability to dump more alcohol into their bodies than other people is a sign of strength and vitality...been there and done that. Pride comes before a fall; That type of alcohol tolerance comes shortly before death.

But, if you want to travel to Russia and be stupid, go ahead. On the way back, stop by Germany and drive 200 MPH on the Autobahn. Good luck.

Anonymous said...

hey anonymous where are you from
i'm from louisiana and i know we can hang with the best of them shit i've had girlfriends that drink more than most

Anonymous said...

oh my...i am so glad i read this...i think if i came to russia...i would be in trouble

Anonymous said...

This has, without a doubt, been the most interesting blog I've read in quite a while...LOL!

Anonymous said...

All in all these hints sound sensible, also maybe the word "sober" is somehow misleading. I think what is meant here is, it will help you getting through a russian party without passing out too early.



Anyway, when given the choice I stick with german or czech beer. Don't like most of this sissy american pissbucket lemonade they dare to call a beer.

Thanks.

Anonymous said...

I lived in Kazakhstan for 2 years, learned how to speak Russian and make fairly eloquent toasts. I wish I had known some of this before I went, since early on during a visit to Shymkent in South Kazakhstan I suffered alcohol poisoning. Not fun. A few points:

1. It's not so much about not getting drunk as not getting falling down puking drunk. Trust me, on 500 grams you will be buzzed, but passing out face down in the plov or puking at the kitchen table is considered a little nekulturny.

2. Drinking, especially for a man, is essential in business circles to establish trust, to make them respect you, to convice them you are a nastoyashi muzh - a mensch. Falling down and puking and making an ass of yourself does the opposite. Oftentimes the drinking will take place at the banya, where you get naked and sweat and drink with your would-be business partners/friends.

3. The rules aren't so rigid as it seems, Konstantin is just describing what most Russians do. The two keys are fat and water. Maybe salt helps too. Eat before you go to the party to lay down a foundation of something fatty, which will slow the effects of the vodka. It doesn't have to be raw eggs. It could be cheese, sausage, whatever. Eat plenty of zakuski, especially the sala (lard), sausage, cheese, sproty. Sometimes, at the banya, someone will send out for shashlik, Fatty, delicious shashlik, Eat some. Plus the tomatoes and cucumbers for vitamin C. In my experience, vodka is always chased with some other liquid. Some use beer (not recommended), others use juice, or soft drinks. Water is best. As a general rule for all kinds of drinking, if you drink 8 oz. of water for every shot (1.5 to 2 oz. of vodka) you will keep your dri=unkenness to manageable limits and avoid a hangover. If water is not available, take juice. Carbonated drinks tend to potentiate alcohol and make you drunker faster.

4. As a foreigner, you are allowed some slack after the first round of toasts. But not too much.

5. When you, and all those around you, are hopelessly drunk, you may be able to get away with raising your glass to your face and in a quick move tossing its contents over your shoulder. As long as no one sees it dripping down the plate glass window behind you (this once happened to me) and you avoid tossing it onto someone's silk blouse you can probably get away with it.

Za Zdorovye!

Anonymous said...

Also if we're not the same kind of people , thats exactly what german teens do before go party. Especially the spoon full of oil ;P thats so disgusting....we managed to get the same amount of oil in our stomache by only goin to eat a Pitta at the greek restaurant ;P

Anonymous said...

All what is written here is almost gibberish! I'm not aquainted with the author, but I'm a real russian guy and with sure can say that some russians really stay sober after a big amount of vodka only because they drink too often! And as a result of it some kind of immunity are cultivated and so after some period of time you can drink more without getting drunk. Why a lot of people drink so much? As for me this is because of unemployment and poverty. But all about potatoes and eggs... I even don't want to speak about it! as for me, I don't drink at all. even beer. I never tasted alcohol. And I'm quite happy without it.

Anonymous said...

the thing about vodka is like all spirits if you have a few shots (without all the previously mentioned techniques) you will get drunk very fast but unless you continue drinking you will sobeur up fast .beers take much longer to get you drunk but is more rewarding (if you like being drunk like me) in that you stay drunk for a lot longer after you start drinking.
never pass up on a meal before drinking though , it may slow down getting drunk for a few minutes but at least you will feel less like shit later

Anonymous said...

What's the point?

Just drink 1 litre of water. then you won't get drunk. if I'm drinking vodka, the intention is to get drunk.

As for your advice in not drinking water, if i find misuse of vodka is starting to make me a bit too drunk, a few pints of water later and I'm back down from hammered to merrily drunk

Anonymous said...

Holy snakes on planes. Youn are a Nooooob drinker and need a good bumming

Anonymous said...

In Soviet Russia, vodka drinks you!

Anonymous said...

I'd rather eat a solid man guff than do this.

Anonymous said...

No wonder you morons lost the cold war, your society is collapsing, alcoholism is the number one cause of death among you, and your population is rapidly dwindling away to zero.

Drink up, Russia! It hastens your already-inevitable elimination from the face of the Earth, an event all civilized peoples are holding their breaths in anticipation of.

Anonymous said...

Good clean Russian fun:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/3284487.stm

Russia, nation of lunatics, we salute you! Drink up!

Anonymous said...

All that just to drink half a litre over four or five hours?
Seems a bit excessive.

Anonymous said...

All of you bragging about not ever getting hangovers, wait until you're past 25 or so. That's when one's liver begins functioning fully and you'll start to feel like utter shit the morning after a drinking binge. But as I recall, this article was about not getting drunk, not avoiding hangovers.

Kay Richardson said...

Drink a pint of blood (drained from a virgin) before boozing - it's always worked for me. Yeah.

Anonymous said...

Half an hour before drinking eat; four buttered kippers, three jellied pigs trotters, a medium sized plateful of stir-fried swans livers and a pickled whelk.

Lord Playboy
www.khmer440.com

Anonymous said...

I like cake.

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't recommend downing a whole bottle in one go (actually 2 but it was a big bottle) either.
That was the first 3 day hangover I ever had. For best results, lick the inside of a kinder egg 47 minutes after your eighth drink & you'll be fine. I should know, I'm Welsh, now WE can drink!

Anonymous said...

In Finland some people drink cream followed by a bottle of vodka. The cream prevents the vodka from dissolving into the blood.

Then they hit town and once they enter the disco, their only additional expense is buing a coke. Which dissolves the cream.

Very thrifty. Occasionally lethal.

Anonymous said...

Retards, dont even comment until youve tried this, its magic, i was in Poland when i was 16 and i got drunk for the first time, me and my cousin polished off half a bottle each thanks to eating pickles and pickled herrings.

Anonymous said...

All that effort NOT to get drunk???....those crazy ruskies, they crack me up.

Anonymous said...

I have spent a lot of time in Russia and in my experience Russians get drunk very quickly, get very drunk and generally behave very poorly when drunk. I have been to some countries where I was surprised at how the people could hold large amounts of liquor but Russia was not one of them. Of all of the countries I have visited Russia is probably the country where the citizens have the least amount of alcohol tolerance. Some people say this is due to the amount of alcohol drank there meaning a large number of the population are alcoholic and their livers can no longer process the alcohol leading to quick drunkeness. The vodka though is of good quality which minimizes the effects the next day.

Anonymous said...

I agree with many others this is idiotic and unscientific. Eating before you drink or even during will slow you absorbtion rate of the alchol but not prevent becoming drunk and if you drink a bottle of vodka russian or not you will either be hospitalized, very sick or dead or all three not in that order.
There is not wisdom in this idiotic post and Russian, Europeans or others don't have some esoteric knowledge that they have attained from there long rich history with vodka drinking, how absurd and stupid.
In case you haven't heard because of the USSR and communism much of Russia is in poverty and due to the oppression of communism and lack of purpose among the people they have had a very high rate of alchoholism there for most of last century and even longer in some areas.
Get a freakin life people and find something constructive to do with your time. Party and drink but guaranteed you eat a lot of grease while you do it with some of the other things he suggests you will be worshipping at the porcelin alter along with Ralph and Earl and will have a massive hangover too.

Man what a DA and some people here swallowed his Horse crap hook, line and sinker.

Anonymous said...

"You Russians have no idea. For one thing a Pole could beat you at drinking anyday, and for another we have far superior vodka in the first place!

Good advice except for the 'they sip vodka instead of taking shots' comment - there is nothing wrong with sipping vodka, particularly when accompanied by some kind of mix (Sok malinowy especially!). It's a very nice way of drinking it."

Tupoy Polyak! Sok malinowy? Vodka and juice is only for girls and pidars - not real men. It just shows that you don't know shit about drinking properly. I bet I could drink you under the table in two minutes.

You bastards always imagine that you have better vodka than us. We have more different kinds of vodka than there are sluts in Warsaw. You go to a good restorant in a Russian city and they will have 3 pages in the menu dedicated to just different vodkas that range in price from $2 a bottle to $100 or more. The good stuff is so good and pure that there's no chance of a hang over. Tak chto ne pizdi, pan.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

The russians are nothin compared to the irish....hard luck guys!

Anonymous said...

no one drinks beer like the english you cunts

Anonymous said...

I must admit that after 2 shots of vodka I am more than feeling it. The other day I went out with a sales lady and we were haveing shots of vodka. Well I usually quit after 2 but she kept buying shot after shot. She was half my age and I know only weighed around 100 lbs but it had no effect on her. She had to drive me home and she seemed to be complety sober. She was an Asian lady.

Anonymous said...

This is also a fabulous recipe to lower your life expectancy to the average life expectancy for Russian men to about 60 years, so if you're 16 you only have 50% chance to grow to see your 65th birthday, now given that Russian pensions inflated to practically being worthless that's not necessarily a big problem, if it wasn't for the fact that the declining population causes problems for the Russian army which in a few decades will not have anough conscripts to fill its defense needs, so who's gonna defend this wonderfull tradition of Russian drinking against the influx of Caucasian immigrants who don't drink now?

Anonymous said...

For that British cocksucker who claimed that 'no one drinks beer like the English': this is actually not true, the Czechs drink much more beer than the english, actually the Brits are not even in the top 5.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beer_consumption_by_country

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Anonymous said...

way too complicated.

Anonymous said...

And looks like those spammers offering Xanax and refinancing stuff are more drunken that any other drunken around.

Anonymous said...

Polish vodka - is NOT a vodka at all! Drinkin it u make next morning awful..

Anonymous said...

I'm Russian? and I can drink? a lot of vodka!!!)))

Chto russkomu horosho - to vam smert'

Anonymous said...

Chto russkomu horosho - to vam smert'
tochno!

petrovichby said...

I've read the comments and understand that most of them were posted by people who have never been to Russia. They know nothing about the tradition of drinking vodka in Eastern Eupope. If you meet someone whose goal is to get drunk as fast as possible it will mean that you deal with an alcoholic, or teenager, or student, or another butt-head. The goal of any company of friends is to drink vodka to relax and have some chat but not to lay your face down into the Olivye salad. You will not get respect in your company for such behaviour. And the mentioned advices are extremely usefull to avoid this situation.

Anonymous said...

PREVEEEEED!!

Anonymous said...

Шурику респект!! Реально, им нас не понять...

Anonymous said...

If the goal of any company of friends is to drink vodka and relax, why can't they just do that by drinking 1-3 shots? Is it necessary for you to line your stomach with fat, drink raw egg and butter just to drink AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE if you could get the same result and be much more relaxed just by drinking LESS? What is with the preoccupation with drinking alot? Is being able to stuff yourself with potatoes and oil so that you can make your body process more alcohol something to be proud of? No matter how much fat you consume to stave off the alcohol, your liver will probably end up being all fatty tissue after a few of these so-called "civilized" get-togethers.

Anonymous said...

you know, we drink to get drunk. so what the f_uck are we discussing here. lets drink so we get drunk, and lets F-uck each other. the best drink of all is MURIATIC ACID..wanna bet?

Anonymous said...

Good advices but no use. When I was 17 I drank a 0,7l bottle of Finlandia vodka in less than 30minutes or so. I thought I couldnt get drunk cos i was one hell of a bier drinker. That was the hardest drinking experience ive ever had. I woke up in a jail not remembering a single thing that night. Battery charges coming in etc. Damn that was funny. Timo 41years, Finland.

Andrey said...

I'm drink vodka from glases.. about 0,5l and not drunk. Oil help me. It's normaly.

Andrey from St. Petersburg

Anonymous said...

So how exactly would a recovering alcoholic be socially accepted at this work related party? Stay home and be rude or go to the party and not drink, aka be rude......hmmmm.....

good luck drinking like this....hope it never stops working for you. seriously. I'd still be drinking if it still worked for me......but alas i do love sobriety, i don' spend inordinate amounts of time figuring out how to get the most alcohol in me without getting "drunk". no more hangovers. no more jail cells ("really officers, I'm not drunk!", no more throwing up in the middle of my fighting match because I just drank "a little" (three shots or maybe it was 6) to take the edge off....whee hee have one on me all you drinkers!

seriously though, i grew up in Europe and I know that drinking is quite a social custom, i often wonder what i would do - (remember: definition of alcoholic: i cannot drink just one ) - are recovering alcoholics socially accepted in Europe, even though they don't have as many as the US?

Anonymous said...

500ml vodka/6hours
= 80ml/hour

Not really a lot is it? You want to visit some of the pubs in the old Northern mill towns in England, there's some funny surprises to be had there.

Anonymous said...

Eating while drinking vodka is a definite eastern European way. Russian perhaps.
Of course it is social, round table, toasts and laughs kinda experience.Warm and friendly.
Must drink first couple toasts-it is a sign of respect especially since first ones are
the most related to the topic of gathering ( from b-day to after-funeral get together).
Drink to have fun. Don’t prove shit to anybody- it is deadly. 750ml straight from the bottle
is as intellectual as six-shooter roulette with 3 chambers loaded. Trust me.
Food will buy you time to sober up or to get help, it will not reduce a load on your liver and
kidneys, but good puke will get some of the alcohol out of you stomach before it will hit the bloodstream. Two fingers down the pipe will get the excess vodka out. To know when is just matter of experience.
Fuck juice mixing or chasing. Any sugar is an invite for the hangover. If you don’t belive me
try vodka made in Ukraine from sugar beats.
Fuck polaks and the stories about their vodka superiority. Vodka is made from grain(wheat for
the best results) not POTATOES. Plus commies and Germans moved your boarders so many times
have of you are Ukrainians and would speak German if Hitler’s blitz creek would work.
Fuck beer too. The reason Russians are drinking vodka is that nobody like wine or beer popsicles
at 25 degrees below. Vodka will keep you warm ans won’t freeze. But respect to brits on their overall alcohol consumption. MUCH LOVE! Crazy fuckers.
Fuck taxes on vodka in this country. It should cost 5-7$ for 750 of best vodka. Tops. The rest is your fed excise, state and sales taxes.
Don’t mix drinks. Eat. Milk thistle for liver protection for us old-furts before bed.
You’ll be fine.

Anonymous said...

that is a ton of work for nothing. why not just drink to get fucked up? fuckin commies.

Anonymous said...

everyone who keeps saying that eating doesnt change how drunk you get and just delays it is wrong.
Yes, your body will still process the same amount of alcohol, BUT its over a much longer time as most of the food will absorb the alcohol, and hence you will get less drunk.

Anonymous said...

maybe all this crap about drinking oils and eating butter and raw eggs does help, but who the hell would be so desperate not to get drunk to go to those measures!
definitly not worth it unless ur crazy and actually LIKE raw eggs.

drinking milk or water is a much better option.

How would i know? Im Polish, and Polish outdrink any nation.

One of my Polish friends can drink 1 litre of vodka in 10 seconds and 30 minutes later you can have a normal conversation with him (hell be faily drunk but not wasted). and he doesnt eat any of that crap before, just normal food!!

Anonymous said...

@ JoAnn:
Yes, they are. Although social drinking is more accepted in Europe than in the US, its not compulsatory. Recovering alcoholics are considered being very strong people for overcoming their problem and are respected, at least where I come from. I also have friends who just don´t drink alcohol because they chose so without being alcoholics, and they go out with us as well.
I know some recovering alcoholics, and I have observed and actually people would not only make sure that the person does not drink any alcohol, they probably would tend to drink less themselves and not get so wasted. I guess drunks love accomplices and hate sober witnesses ;)..or maybe it just makes them think about ther own consumption?

Anonymous said...

I dont get it... What is the point in going through all that trouble, if you are not going to get buzzed? Or even drunk? What is the purpose of drinking a bottle of vodka, and saying, "I can stay sober?" Why drink at all then if you are preventing the buzz? What are you getting out of it? I guess I dont understand..

Anonymous said...

Drink, but chase with water. Empty stomach is best. 2:1 water vs vodka and you can drink all night. Take a Multivitamin when you start drinking and you will have no hangover if you drank the water you needed. You can stay wasted, but civil.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps this method of drinking helps the body more gradually absorb the alcohol it has consumed, but nevertheless the alcohol will at some point -- perhaps while the subject is sleeping -- be processed by the liver, at which time the liver will say "Why, oh stupid man, are you killing me thus?"

It is worth noting again, as only one other poster here has noted, that the average life expectancy of a Russian man is 59.12 years. And there are studies that show this is in large part due to alcohol consumption. 59.12 is significantly less than the life expectancy of the average American man, which is 75.15 years. I will do the math for those of you who have been drinking vodka: the difference is 16.03 years. That's 16.03 years of enjoying your grandchildren, sailing your yacht, riding your motorcycle, sitting in your rocking chair, watching tv, getting ready to meet your Maker, or doing whatever else makes you happy. Would you trade that for a lifetime of tacky toasts around tables of half drunk people in smoke-filled rooms and morning hangovers? If so, to pozhaluista, vipite na zdorovye!

Anonymous said...

In USA people start drinking when they're 21. In Russia, they finish drinking at this age... :))))

Anonymous said...

nice tips. kinda hard to follow though.

Anonymous said...

if you wanna drink just drink just learn how to control it.

Anonymous said...

That was very helpfull, thanks :)

Anonymous said...

Sorry suckers but lithuania owns at drinking

Anonymous said...

9 shots in 6 hours? that's why you're not drunk, not anything to do with oil or acids. 1 shot = 1 unit, and 1 unit has gone through the system in 1 hour. you'd probably be legal to drive after one of these parties.

Anonymous said...

Additional information (in russian):

http://anton2ov.livejournal.com/25653.html

Anonymous said...

Because decent vodka (Stolichnaya, Absolut and better) is the purest form of alcoholic beverage, one can drink so much more and not receive a hangover (compare with whisky).
Drink it cool/cold but not icy-cold. Straight and not sullied with coke e.t.c.
If it is good Vodka you will want to sip it, unless it is a group drinking session when downing each shot is more practical. The best part of vodka is the aftertaste so downing does not diminsh this pleasure.
Personally, i find it harder to get drunk on vodka than beer and i do not know why. Perhaps, the bubbles? Any ideas?
And if anyone can drink a whole bottle (75cl) of vodka without getting completely mashed i take my hat off to you. I bring 40cl with me to a party and it does me for the night.
P

Anonymous said...

Bread, pickles and some salami and you're good to go for a long time.
Im not going to to go into much detials but,Carbs help absorb, pickles help break down and salami(which is fat/oil) help neautralize. You can of course modify what you're eating but you get the genaral idea as to why russians do no get drunk as fast.

All those immature idiots who poseted b.s. comments...hope you get hit by a drunk driver! :)

Anonymous said...

i think this is also depend on your psychological conditions beside the eating and lining your stomach mucosa,, i mean if you want get drunk you will , but if you resiste the alcohole effecte it will work ,, i know it's not like you want but at least you keep your self super by talking to othe others and do a mental activaties,,

Anonymous said...


Drink vodka!

ThanksDrinking said...

HaHa this is great.

You want to come write for us over at www.thanksdrinking.com ?

Anonymous said...

Well written article, I beign Polish can see huge similarities in our drinking culture.

Mainly, drinking always (most often) come along with eating. And I'm not talking one dish here but during the entire evening.

There is a difference when you visit relatives and the mandatory welcoming shot is must. But often you will be presented with a piece of bred and Smalec (pretty much fat+meat in a jar you put on a piece of bread) or the famous salted cucumber. I have also learnt by growing up in a vodka cosuming culture that if you are dealing with stronger vodka/spiritus a good way of getting rid of that strong taste is to sniff the bread before eating it, somehow the strong taste will vanish.

One thing I think you could add, is the weddings, when the alcohol consumption is ridiculous in my opinion, but I've learnt that the techniques from a regular dinner party can be applied here as well. A good extra note is, that you do not wan't to sit down, you pretty much have to go up and dance, not only to be polite, but moving (exercise) helps you get rid of the alcohol much faster (meaning you can manage the hundreds of toasts that evening/night/morgnin/afternoon).

Anyway very well written and amusing to read that russian traditions are so much alike our.

Greeting from a Pole in Sweden!

Unknown said...

All South Slavs have same way of drinking.Serbs too.We are able to drink a lot of rakija (our national homemade drink) and to stay sober?
How?
Just like Russians,we eat a lot of food.Smoked ham,fat cheese and other small bites.Once I drunk 1 liter of rakija,64% alcohol,and I was OK.But I ate a lot of fat meat and cheese and smoked ham etc.
we wouldnt be able to drink that much if not the biological inheritance as well,of course.

Anonymous said...

loves the topics,
I'll drink more vodka in my country , and try the tips.

greeting from Bali

Anonymous said...

I understand that alcohol actually changes the quality of cell membranes - making them more rigid and slightly less permeable to alcohol. May be due to removal of some lipids in the cell walls. Anyway, along the way to permanent damage, the experienced drinker does, in fact, become more tolerant of alcohol.

Vivolo said...

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Anonymous said...

The easiest way by far to take on vodka is to practice. Put a bottle of vodka in your kitchen. Every time you go into the kitchen take a shot. This'll train your senses and you'll be able to handle a higher concentration at a better rate. Those things they mention beforehand are useless gimmicks. One teaspoon of olive oil and you're good. Remember your toasts and don't forget to not act foolish. Have you ever actually idolized the man next to you at the urinal moaning his brains out and is still there when you come back to drain again?

Anonymous said...

I think the original message by the author was a tip on how to avoid getting drunk for those who plan on attending parties where they will be pressured to drink more than they can handle.

..just saying...STFU with the "i drink to get drunk" ... this blog
is not for you!

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

A GOOD BLOG , I LIKE IT VERY MUCH !

Anonymous said...

I wouldnt say i drink to get drunk, but it certinally enables a good time... and we need the people who can handle their drink to have even more fun... playing jokes on them makes a party :D

the most ive drunk and stayed sober was half a 1.5 litre bottle of JD which was about 10 double shot sizes(ish) mixed with cola which i think is a very big amount..

anyway before i drank all that i had a glass of milk with dinner which was a lamb roast with potatoes and gravy. i dont know for sure if it was the type of foods or drinks i had that kept me sober but it worked out pretty good that day. :)

Anonymous said...

Obviously genes play a key role! Only Poles, Russians and Lithuanians can pound vodka all night and hold in the hangover the next day! Remember not to mix vodka especially with wines, champagne and sweet liquors. yuck. massive hangover + hardcore vomiting! Also you have to practice drinking. You get better and better! I've had better and worse. 12 shots and 2 beers is enough to get me drunk. I'm 1.68 cm and 60 kg...and female! Hooray for Polki! ZDROWIE!

Anonymous said...

being Russian is great we naturally can drink more than the average person can =].

Anonymous said...

in response to the original

all alcohol needs to be processed by the enzymes in your liver ..
women get drunk more easily because of a lesser amount of the enzyme.

now the sugary drink think is correct as sugars , need to be broken down also, placing a burden on your liver

now eggs contain protein and help the liver.

now oil and lemons have an effect on the gallbladder and liver to flush toxins. its actually used as part of a liver detox.

so there is science behind what he says ...

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Anonymous said...

I don't understand why? Why drink to stay sober? Seems a waste of vodka.

herbal remedies said...

Great post I am going to try this instead with tequila, overall it sounds like the russians know how to have a good time

Anonymous said...

all alcohol needs to be processed by the enzymes in your liver ..
women get drunk more easily because of a lesser amount of the enzyme.

now the sugary drink think is correct as sugars , need to be broken down also, placing a burden on your liver

now eggs contain protein and help the liver. Obviously genes play a key role! Only Poles, Russians and Lithuanians can pound vodka all night and hold in the hangover the next day! Remember not to mix vodka especially with wines, champagne and sweet liquors. yuck. massive hangover + hardcore vomiting! Also you have to practice drinking.
======================
mike
======================
Car Finance

Anonymous said...

im from canada and the way to drink alcohol is beer and whisky.. only girls drink vodka.. like coolers which which vodka and juices mixed together and bottled.. pussys drink vodka

Anonymous said...

The comments here are funny. Some are right, lots of young kids drinking just to get drunk... or lacking knowledge of eastern european culture.

Think of vodka drinking as half.. a hotdog eatting contest. You DO drink to get drunk, but when you end up puking under the table.. when has that ever been fun? You need some hobbies. The trick is staying at the table, partying all night, and having fun. You'll be crunk alright, but if you get sick and puke, you're a loser, and your siberian hosts will respect you less. It's all about stamina while you drink your face off. No puking... that's when you lose.

Carl Torres said...

I found this blog informative. The way you explain how to drink vodka and stay sober is excellent.A lot of people say that they got a hangover after a few drinks. I think they will get benefit by following your process.I will follow your process while drinking vodka. I like to enjoy my drink with Cohiba cigars.As cohiba cigars are not easily available in the local market, so I buy online.

Anonymous said...

If you are reading this blog to not get drunk with Russians, don't even think about going to their party. There is only one way to party with us Russians, and that is the way my friends.

Anonymous said...

whats the point in spending money on vodka when you want to stay sober? dont tell me you like the taste...

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Cipa said...

To drink acohool it s not appropriate for for a nice body and get a suddenly slim

Anonymous said...

Heres how really to drink vodka:
http://www.therealculture.com/estonian-culture/estonian-vodka-2/

Anonymous said...

dude. the best way to drink vodka is chilled & straight out of the bottle. NEVER DRINK WARM VODKA! fuck the lemons and raw eggs. last time i checked people drink TO GET DRUNK. who cares how many shots it takes? it all depends on body weight. ive never seen a russian that wasnt 9 foot 15 and 300 pounds. the heavier you are the more drinks it takes for your BAC (blood alcohol content) to rise past .08 which is classified as legally drunk. if you weigh between 200-250 lbs. your BAC will go up .01 for every average drink. (thats one 12 oz. beer, one shot of whiskey or vodka) if you weigh 150-199 lbs. your BAC will go up .02, 50-99 lbs. .03 thats why some parents use whiskey on infants for pain. because infants get drunk faster. so in conclusion, russians stay sober from heratige, pre-party fats (eggs), AND BAC for their weight.

Noel - Tricycles For Adults said...

I'm vodka lover and this post rocks! Thanks for sharing these tips with us.

Simo said...

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Free Gasoline said...

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Anonymous said...

I am glad to see this post. Russians seem alright and I want to usher in the new year with plans for a trip to Tolstoy-land. How would I do such a thing without mucking about on a "guided tour"? Where should I start planning my trip? Where should I go to encounter Russians who are willing to go toe to toe with a poet from the southeastern US in a drinking bout? I was raised on moonshine so let's get something started here. Anyway, you'll never post in this thread again so it really doesn't matter but goddammit raise some hell and toast me when you drink your next shot. Yours, Man Mountain

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Jogos said...

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Anonymous said...

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Furmen Sakume said...

Very interesting to read about the Russian parties. I normally used breads, salts and oranges to counteract the alcohol. Then again I'm Romanian ;)

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software said...

the best way to drink vodka is chilled & straight out of the bottle. NEVER DRINK WARM VODKA! fuck the lemons and raw eggs. last time i checked people drink TO GET DRUNK. who cares how many shots it takes? it all depends on body weight. ive never seen a russian that wasnt 9 foot 15 and 300 pounds.

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