Friday, December 30, 2005

Mean Russian Jokes

America is fighting two wars: one with terrorism and another with obesity. It’s double luck when it finds a fat terrorist.

New TV show “Who want to be a millionaire”. Its host Vladimir Putin invites all Russian billionaires to participate.

2020. After the crush of the European Union Latvia demanded monetary compensation for European occupation of the country. It also demanded that NATO occupation forces immediately leave the country together with 3 million of alien citizens of Turkish decent.

Soccer new. The hamster of Abramovich bought Yaroslavl’s Shinnik soccer team.

A team of construction workers from Kazakhstan will put tiles on your Shuttle.

Officer on duty reports to the Siberian jail chief, “Bad news: we don’t have any money, there’s no electricity, no water, no food, our guards are on strike. Good news: Khodorkovkiy is coming.”

When Jesus wants to punish America he sends storms, tornados, fires and floods. When he wants to punish other nations he sends Americans.

George Bush secretly visited Iraq. The level of secrecy was unprecedented. Only five persons knew about it. Lora Bush was informed an hour before the flight. George Bush wasn’t informed at all.

In order to make French police work in Paris more humanitarian it was decided to equip them with foam plastic baton, jets with warm water and banana flavored tear-gas.

Ukraine is a free democratic country at last. Before its president was elected in Moscow. Now in Washington.

After the democratic revolution in Kyrgyzstan its new government stated that it would be as warm and friendly towards Russian subsidies as before.

George Bush visited the State of Georgia and met its governor Mikhail Saakashvili.


W. Shedd said...

"Ukraine is a free democratic country at last. Before its president was elected in Moscow. Now in Washington."

That's funny. I know before 2004 the Prime Minister of Ukraine was a Russian. But I was unaware that Yushenko was American.

It will never cease to amaze me at how pissed off Russians are at Ukraine for daring to elect a Ukrainian to run their country. It is like an American be pissed off at Canadians for electing a Canadian and not an ethnic American as their Prime Minister, eh?

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